ok... i went back on my words n post on this blog again. but thot this might be useful for my frenzs...
"Love is what's left when being in love has gone. It's when you care about someone and you hope they're happy, but you are not under any illusions about them. Maybe that kind of love is not exciting and passionate and all those things that fade with time. All those things that you are keen on. But in the end it's the only kind of love that really matters."
-Tony Parsons-
"Man and Boy"
till we meet again...
this blog has too much memories for me to bear. i'm moving... *zoom ZOOM*
guess this blog just gonna be e only place where i can pour out my emotions. i guess this will be my saddest weekend in my 23plus years of life. (ps: or is there more to come?) i hope not. e past 2 nites had been bad. i tried to make myself v tired in e nitez so tt i can sleep better. but, i still woke up in e middle of e nitez to tear. it's at these times tt i felt so alone to fight my own battle. at such unearthly times... all my frenzs n family r soundly asleep. i will haf to deal wif my own inner emotions. anger, hatred, sadness had been engulfing me these 2 nites. i wish i can hate him... i even typed out sms but i dun even haf e courage to send him... sigh... i cant imagine till now... i still dun wanna affect him any further when he affected me so much. i cant bear to do it... i really cant.
to date, my equilibrium principle in love has been proven right in my own little case. i'm shattered. cuz to me, it's always important to choose someone you love which is contradictory to my principle. however, the principle dictates tt the love e guy has will diminish over time. while e gal's will increase over time. as wat urnice said, love can be cultivated over time. guess i noe wat i should do in future le. =)
many frenzs told me tt it's impossible to like or unlike a person in months. the fact tt he did merely put across e fact tt he din really like u at e beginning. the truth hurts... he was being nice to me by saying all those things tt made me happier. but deep down, i noe it's just being diplomatic n nice.
i was v bad... i forced him to inflict e fatal blow to our r/s. i forced him into a corner n forced e goody him to say he dun like me anymore. it's important to me. cuz i rem i always told him tt if one day, he dun like me, just tell me n i will leave... ya... it's important to make good wat i promised. but it really hurts... at tt instance, e injured heart smashed into pieces. but it still hurts alot seeing u tear... guess it will be e first n last time i see tt... i'm sorrie... but it's just important to me tt thing comes to a complete halt n i can make myself pick up e pieces n move on wif life.
but i guess this came at a bad time. i noe for e next 3 mths or so, my workplace will be filled of memories of u... i shuddered at e thot of it. i wonder how i can cope wif it. but being me, i will try to be a strong gal in front of my family... it's a responsibility... i cant let them worry too much abt me... n my dear frenzs... my dearest u zap jie mei who travelled all e way from boon lay so late at nite to comfort me at tt particular moment... my dearest urnice n huan huan who tried to make me laugh... yeah! i did laugh but guess it will never be e same anymore.
i wish he had told me earlier. when he was trying to make up his decision. mayb i was just oblivious or slow ba which is to no fault of his. haiz. i wish he had told me 1 week earlier... at least i will feel better. but it really dawned on me wat kind of person i am to him... it really does. sob
come to think of it... i still rem 1 week ago... i jokingly told him tt i will refer to e article " how to walk out of a breakup" in the magazine i just bought. urnice said it's divine intervention. hee. last nitez when i woke up at 4am, i even flipped to those pages n read it over n over again... but... it was not helpful. hee... no wonder he said it was crap one week ago. yeah! it was. =)
oh ya... i still rem tt during cny, when we were walking past bugis, there was a prediction abt our zodiac n it said breakup n separation for couple in love. guess urnice will say it's divine intervention as well. hee
looking back for e last time, he really made me happier for e past mths. when love come to an end, couple can still be frenzs n both of us believe in tt. hee... n i promised him... we will be e bestest of frenzs. we will... guess being frenzs, we will be much happier than before n being frenzs, both of us can continue to show each other e concern n care as pals. n i'm a great frenz... hee... he can count on me for tat...
walking
a long walk sparked e beginning... todae, 300307, a long walk marked the end.
love
erm... i dun noe where to start... *warning* guess it will be a super messy post... so it's not too late to close this window n skip to another blog... =p
*disclaimer: e author often lives in her own fairyland of tales, haf great ideals of love tt can never be fulfilled in this mortals' world n as SW haf said, she is a simple minded person. so her viewpoint could haf great differential between e common readers. pls do not proceed if her viewpoint r not within ur tolerable error*
Personally, i feel tt it is v difficult to chance upon someone we like n e feeling is mutual for both parties in our short lifespan. i, for one, only found this particular person after 23 yrs of waiting. perhaps i might not be representative of the population, however, i guess i cant emphasis e importance of finding such a particular character. Mayb, we should sit down n ask our inner self (after removing all e masks we wear in our daily life) n perhaps, it could be in e most ah lian or ah beng manner(someone u wanna be in e past but could never be) "oei, until now hor, find someone u beri su kan (aka like in hokkien) n he/she also su kan li bo?
further, how often do we chance upon someone we can really communicate n talk abt anything under e sky?
cuz someone i know who is e greatest procasinator in my eyes sorta enlightened me wif e above qns... although he was filled wif regrets in his tone when he asked me these qns... but i guess he realised his mistake. n is dressing his own wounds in e meantime. but his qns enlightened me n tell me to seize watever tt means alot to me. n i hope... in turn, i can reach out to some crowds...=p
guess i shall tell this story to emphasis my points... (although i seldom tell this story but only to my close frenzs who bump into such probs)
i happened to noe 2 chars who found each other n never looked back. it's a true story n they happened to be someone who r v v v dear to me... they r... my grandparents.
in their times, great emphasis r placed on this thing called man dang hu tui. rich must be tog wif rich n vice versa. yet, guess fate like to play trick on all human beings... my grandpa... happened to be very poor. (ya, sounds like a tv series wif e poor scholar but it's true...hee) my grandma was born wif a golden spoon n they happened to noe each other n found each other. (ps: i think last time there is also no such thing as freedom to choose their future spouse)actually, i dun noe how much obstacles they transcended to be tog but i noe it was not some easy task n required alot of determination on their part. n to use determination to conclude how they share their whole lifes tog till death do they part is also an understatement ba. so often, i wonder... love must be e one who gave them strength to overcome watever tt come their way. n i noe deeply in my heart tt if they r given any 2nd chance, they will still be each other's final choice. (ps: at this pt in time, i'm still touched by their story for e umpteen times... tears just welled in my eyes n i refused to let them fall... hee)
so to my simple mind... to find someone u like n tt someone likes u is e meanest feat in e world. (if not, how come there r so many love songs eg. wo ai de ren ai wo de ren by qiu hai zheng... cuz they r often not e same person)
to me, love will iron out e vast differences as long as both parties strive to work towards it. seriously... i think in todae's world, nothing is impossible as long as both parties work towards a common goal. my grandparents did it in their times... n they did not let regret happen... so i think it will not be such a prob in todae's world... it shouldnt be... i trust tt...
LOng oVeRdUe
Long overdue...
JJ's bdae celebration, 8th July 2006time flies n wait for no man. i still rem 1 yr ago, all of us were still fresh graduates n were pretty much enthu abt work. a yr later, our celebration turned out to be a session of complaints, office politics, bonuses n increments. But guess it's all part of growing up rite? =p
In fact, work haf taken a toil on all of us... mayb besides weiling. hee...
luckily, our spirits were lightened by diana's antics n her joke abt me joining tiger airway due to my shortness. hee...
xp n yl also dug out some hot gossips tt were happening in KP n not to our knowledge. hee... hopefully, true love will prevail for all my dear frenzs... for i always believe, beauty is delusive, wealth is perishable n it's just impt to find someone who will make u laugh... =)
yl, me n jj... OMG, i look so old!!!
food for thots
Finding Out You and Your Partner's Compatibility
First you have to know you and your partner's Chinese Zodiac signs.
Then find out your group number according to the zodiac signs and the birth month in the table below.
Zodiac Sign Group
Rat, Horse, Rabbit, Rooster 1
Tiger, Monkey, Snake, Pig 3
Dragon, Dog, Ox, Ram 4
Birth Month Group
Feb, May, Aug, Nov 1
Jan, Apr, Jul, Oct 3
Mar, Jun, Sept, Dec 4
Sample:
Let's imagine the boyfriend is an ox born in March (4,4) and the girlfriend is a rabbit born in January (1,3).
Add the two numbers for the boyfriend (4+4=8) and then add the two numbers for the girlfriend (1+3=4).
Add those two results (8+4=12).
The sum is the number you would look in the table below, which tells you the compatibility.
Sum=4
Stability but both are too stubborn: This couple is more likely associated to be friends because they are so comfortable with each other, which makes their family environment very inviting and youthful. But both parties have to be careful to drop their stubbornness or there will come a time of great pain. They also should not hurt each other’s pride.
Sum=5
Need Sexual Harmony: Things don’t always work according to the plan and this will be a struggle for this couple. Both people want walk toward a different direction, which would end up as a severe problem. The birth of a child will resolve this problem and both will realize the importance of understanding the other person. It is a necessity to change the bedroom environment for this couple every once in a while.
Sum=6
Match Made In Heaven: Destiny could not bring together a more blessed couple than this one and problems for them are never too big enough to solve. There will be continuous sunshine as their lives go on. They will enjoy raising their children and the family’s customs will be passed on to the next generation. If there is anything to watch out for it is the health for this match made in heaven.
Sum=7
Devotion: This couple shares an abundance of love and they are so compatible that it is easy for one to pull and the other to push, so that all matters of affair are completed much faster. These two will make sure that none of their children will suffer and the whole family will sustain a level of peace without any turbulences occurring as during their lives. Sometimes it is better to hide some of the zealous enthusiasm for the relationship to work better.
Sum=8
Passionate: This couple knows that the existence of a being and the home affairs alike start from scratch and progress. That is why they will not be worried about material possessions when they start their journey together. Their fortitudes are strong that they will become prosperous together. What they have to watch out for is not to forget their manners, even as the days go by together.
Sum=9
A Desolate Family: There lies a vast difference between this couple’s opinions that this may have an effect mentally as time goes by. It may develop to more profound problems if there doesn’t exist self-sacrifice or a broad generosity for the other person. Between love and hate, exists happiness when one abandons high expectations but rather empties it out.
Sum=10
Success, Luck: This relationship built upon cordial affection that there is no troubling sign in regards to their happiness. There will be a great amount of bliss in this family and there is also the fortune of raising a child that will become an important figure in society. If there is a flaw in this relationship it will be the short separation they will survive during their early years of marriage.
Sum=11
Love’s Obstacle And Heated Words: Both people expect to receive than to give to the other person, which makes this a very selfish rendezvous. There will be too many complaints eventually a wall will exist between the two, where communication is defunct. If this relationship wants to survive, both have to introspective and realize what they could do for the other person first before they think about themselves.
Sum=12
The book of Changes Unfolds-Peace Occurs In The Later Years: Although this harmonious couple acts as one body, there will be a few pitfalls during their lives’ span, where slight competition between the two will exist. Friction is always present in a couple’s relationship but this will only last temporarily for these two. If they both keep an open mind, they are destined to happily grow old together.
Sum=13
Love’s Progress-Strong Jealousy: The tree’s natural resource of survival is water and this couple will live in beautiful harmony just like that. The wife shows devotion to her husband and the husband adheres to his wife’s wishes. Life for them is so wonderful that others may be jealous of that fact. They will be blessed with great wealth including material possession, health, and loving children. If there exists a weakness, it is love’s jealousy on both parts that would account for some distrust.
Sum=14
Family Discord-Emotional Ignorance: You are not incompatible like water and fire but living together may bring lots of pain into this relationship. There is a high likelihood that you may not persevere together due to the strain. Both have to be conscious about trying to understand the other person and be willing to give in at times. It is just as important to utilize intelligence in a relationship as in school or work.
Sum=15
A Heartbreaking Couple-Late Marriage Advisable: Your passion quickly sets on fire and loses its spark just as fast in this relationship. There are many layers of complications between you two and thus will suffer many hardships together. No matter how many you try to break up, you are inseparable due to fate. If you want to avoid the stormy weathers, then decide to get married later.
Sum=16
Perfect Combination: This couple will always have a newlywed atmosphere around them. There is great, vital energy in the couple’s affection and there will be lots of laughter going on in this family. With the couple’s initial meeting develops a favorable change of luck for both of them and this is why they develop affectionate feelings for each other. If both will pursuit to work together toward one goal, their fortune in everything will multiply in many folds. A person who was born in winter matches with someone who was born in summer and vice versa in order to balance the cosmic dual force
