ok... i went back on my words n post on this blog again. but thot this might be useful for my frenzs...
"Love is what's left when being in love has gone. It's when you care about someone and you hope they're happy, but you are not under any illusions about them. Maybe that kind of love is not exciting and passionate and all those things that fade with time. All those things that you are keen on. But in the end it's the only kind of love that really matters."
-Tony Parsons-
"Man and Boy"
till we meet again...
this blog has too much memories for me to bear. i'm moving... *zoom ZOOM*
guess this blog just gonna be e only place where i can pour out my emotions. i guess this will be my saddest weekend in my 23plus years of life. (ps: or is there more to come?) i hope not. e past 2 nites had been bad. i tried to make myself v tired in e nitez so tt i can sleep better. but, i still woke up in e middle of e nitez to tear. it's at these times tt i felt so alone to fight my own battle. at such unearthly times... all my frenzs n family r soundly asleep. i will haf to deal wif my own inner emotions. anger, hatred, sadness had been engulfing me these 2 nites. i wish i can hate him... i even typed out sms but i dun even haf e courage to send him... sigh... i cant imagine till now... i still dun wanna affect him any further when he affected me so much. i cant bear to do it... i really cant.
to date, my equilibrium principle in love has been proven right in my own little case. i'm shattered. cuz to me, it's always important to choose someone you love which is contradictory to my principle. however, the principle dictates tt the love e guy has will diminish over time. while e gal's will increase over time. as wat urnice said, love can be cultivated over time. guess i noe wat i should do in future le. =)
many frenzs told me tt it's impossible to like or unlike a person in months. the fact tt he did merely put across e fact tt he din really like u at e beginning. the truth hurts... he was being nice to me by saying all those things tt made me happier. but deep down, i noe it's just being diplomatic n nice.
i was v bad... i forced him to inflict e fatal blow to our r/s. i forced him into a corner n forced e goody him to say he dun like me anymore. it's important to me. cuz i rem i always told him tt if one day, he dun like me, just tell me n i will leave... ya... it's important to make good wat i promised. but it really hurts... at tt instance, e injured heart smashed into pieces. but it still hurts alot seeing u tear... guess it will be e first n last time i see tt... i'm sorrie... but it's just important to me tt thing comes to a complete halt n i can make myself pick up e pieces n move on wif life.
but i guess this came at a bad time. i noe for e next 3 mths or so, my workplace will be filled of memories of u... i shuddered at e thot of it. i wonder how i can cope wif it. but being me, i will try to be a strong gal in front of my family... it's a responsibility... i cant let them worry too much abt me... n my dear frenzs... my dearest u zap jie mei who travelled all e way from boon lay so late at nite to comfort me at tt particular moment... my dearest urnice n huan huan who tried to make me laugh... yeah! i did laugh but guess it will never be e same anymore.
i wish he had told me earlier. when he was trying to make up his decision. mayb i was just oblivious or slow ba which is to no fault of his. haiz. i wish he had told me 1 week earlier... at least i will feel better. but it really dawned on me wat kind of person i am to him... it really does. sob
come to think of it... i still rem 1 week ago... i jokingly told him tt i will refer to e article " how to walk out of a breakup" in the magazine i just bought. urnice said it's divine intervention. hee. last nitez when i woke up at 4am, i even flipped to those pages n read it over n over again... but... it was not helpful. hee... no wonder he said it was crap one week ago. yeah! it was. =)
oh ya... i still rem tt during cny, when we were walking past bugis, there was a prediction abt our zodiac n it said breakup n separation for couple in love. guess urnice will say it's divine intervention as well. hee
looking back for e last time, he really made me happier for e past mths. when love come to an end, couple can still be frenzs n both of us believe in tt. hee... n i promised him... we will be e bestest of frenzs. we will... guess being frenzs, we will be much happier than before n being frenzs, both of us can continue to show each other e concern n care as pals. n i'm a great frenz... hee... he can count on me for tat...
